"The Bipolar Bloke"

The medical profession widely agrees that they only understand at most 10% of the human brain, which leaves 90% unknown and if we can all agree that the 10% of the brain we do understand is extremely intricate and delicate and insanely productive and efficient. It beggars the question that of that 10% they can diagnose a brain disorder such as Bipolar Disorder - but if they don’t know the other 90% of the brain how can they be sure that Bipolar is in fact a Disorder and not connected to the parts of the brain they know nothing about. 

What if Bipolar was in fact a gift a blessing and whats really required instead of meds to squash those feelings and thoughts is the ability to become BIPOLAR AWARE and capitalize and harness those positive assets we have been blessed with and put them to proper use. The Amazonian people believe those born with Bipolar become shamans and are looked up to by the tribe as the wise and gifted individuals, and the tribe has been blessed by their birth and presence. They are known to be intuitive and gifted and their manic episodes embraced just as much as their depressive episodes, as they are of a higher being and feel things deeper and understand things better.

I know personally with Bipolar Disorder Type 1 and my symptoms being more up than down, I have long periods in hypomanic states and have achieved great things both personally and professionally, but after 18 years no one has suggested to embrace this mood, and no one has thought what good things could come out of it if understood more deeply and professionally managed and capitalized on, to channel that energy and ensure its being used as a positive to enhance the desired outcome, which could be personal growth, entrepreneurial flare, inspiring others, sharing knowledge, solving problems of any scale.

Look at what happens when you can learn to harness your energy and neural powers

In summary instead of us being treated by the experts to help us to be stable and normal and medicated to stop the hypomanic and depressive episodes. 

So i now stand up and say lets help these people blessed with Bipolar to achieve their potential and harness their creativity and live their fullest life - as far as I’m aware the professional medical field are only specialized in reducing the symptoms to stop our instability and to stabilize us and null our mood swings.

I believe i am able to help train to use our super powers by becoming "BIPOLAR AWARE"

It doesn't really matter if you've just met or known someone for a long time. I come with baggage, I have a mental illness and although you cant see it - its eating me alive- everyday. The extremes i go to and the risks I take and the mood swings that flow throughout are just too much for some people to cope with - and thats ok.

I am what I am, i don't need to prove that I'm sick to anyone. It is what it is, there is no cure only manageability through medication and lifestyle, and even with this we still fuck up. My self worth is pretty low at the moment, I'm sick of having to defend myself to people who don't believe Bipolar is real. Fuck I've survived over a decade of carrying this shit - the battles I've won can't be counted, there are far to many. The amount of times I've pushed suicide to its limits and death just won't take me.

So I survive, i fight, i battle and today i stand above ground and not six feet under - so the battle is being won, and if i lose a few people along the way, thats their issue not mine. I am doing the best i can.

If you have bipolar disorder you will experience extreme swings in mood – from periods of overactive, excited behavior – known as ‘mania’ or ‘manic episodes’ – to deep depression. Between these severe highs and lows, you may have stable times.

Some people also see or hear things that others around them don't (known as having visual or auditory hallucinations) or have uncommon, unshared, beliefs (known as delusions).

Types of bipolar disorder
There are different types of bipolar disorder.

Bipolar I – characterized by manic episodes – most people will
experience depressive periods as well, but not all do.

Bipolar II – characterized by severe depressive episodes alternating with episodes of hypomania.

Cyclothymic disorder – short periods of mild depression and short periods of hypomania.

Rapid cycling – four or more episodes a year. These can be manic, hypomanic, depressive or mixed episodes.

Mixed states – periods of depression and elation at the same time.

Length and frequency of episodes
You may have very few bipolar disorder episodes, with years of stability in between them; or you may experience many more. Episodes can vary in both length and frequency from weeks to months, with varying lengths of time in between.

Mania usually starts suddenly and lasts between two weeks and four to five months. Depression often lasts longer, on average around six months. It can last longer, but usually less than a year.

Although you may cope very well in between episodes, you may still experience low-level symptoms in these relatively ‘stable’ periods, which can impact on your daily life.

Ok - it’s time for business now. Over the last few months I’ve been doing a load of research on our affliction, including but not limited to reading 2 books, “Manic” by Terri Cheney and “An Unquiet Mind” by Kay Redfield Jamison. As most of you who have followed this page know I used to Manage Pubs and Hotels, rough ones, I was known for cleaning up trouble pubs and getting rid of the troublemakers. 

So pre-diagnosis of Bipolar I started writing a book about all the pubs I managed and all the violence involved covering Australia, Indonesia and England. I was probably close to 20% of starting and writing it. Then things went bad, I was put into a psych ward for almost 3 months and diagnosed with Bipolar type 1. The motivation of writing the book left me, for years, life moved on and I ended up here in Bali. Many ups and downs here, mental health is largely un-acknowledged and not talked about. 

So as not to drag this post out - I had had a terrible couple of years probably realistically starting in September 2019 through till NYE 2021. An absence from posting on this page all being part of it. It turns out in retrospect the part of the book I was writing times perfectly in with my pre-diagnosis and hospitalization. After reading the books above - I thought I have to write a book on the journey of pre-diagnosis through till now, including everything! No holds barred, raw, real, violent, heartbreaking, including the different ways in multiple countries it was dealt with. Divorce, Death, Bankruptcy, Jail, Psych wards, Medication, Electro Convulsive Therapy, Mental Health Rehabs, Suicide attempts, Friends lost, love broken, Violence and justice and and and…..

It’s actually happening now, after research and reading books I am now in the process of writing a manuscript in the hope it gets published and the readers who read it, identify and relate to it, those without Bipolar gives them an explicit look inside the mind of a guy once called Bipolar Bloke at a work function almost a decade ago and that comment gave me the inspiration to start this page years ago - and it has become my story with over 3000 souls from 6 different countries following my journey.